It's all about the BIG photo shoot!
Big Ang is home stressing over Neil procrastinating on everything that he does. She's upset the chandelier has been lying around and she can't take it anymore. And most of all, she inherited a psychotic dog Kilo. Neil says he is going to take care of the dog for AJ. Big Ang says Neil and AJ have a good relationship. Me and Neil, not so good, he gets on my nerves. Big Ang complains to Neil about her birthday present, the one she never received. She says she wants her present. He reminds her about the present he bought her on Valentine's day. Disgusted she says, “what was that about 5-7 months ago?” Neil tells her about getting a tattoo. He says, he knows how she likes guys with big muscles and tattoos. She says, well you don't have either. He says he may get a tattoo of her. Now you’re talking. Big Ang's face lights up and she thinks it's a fabulous idea! He says what should I get? A portrait? Big Ang says, a tattoo of me, the whole body naked! I have to get the perfect, perfect picture! It’s all about me! Neil asks if he is going to take the pictures, but Big Ang says she'll take them.
Big Ang and Janine go looking at a place for a spray tanning business. Janine says she likes the location and Big Ang is already “all in.” I wonder to myself how many times Big Ang goes “all in” in Texas Hold-em because she has to or because she just loves the phrase? Big Ang says this will be her 4th business venture. She owns the Drunken Monkey, she had another bar in Staten Island, and years ago she and her sister owned a party place called, “Imaginations.” Unfortunately, it didn't do too well because they were always hung over. The girls love the building and the layout of this store. Big Ang is imagining mirrored lips all over the walls. She says she wants it and she wants it right now. She comes up with a name “Big Ang's Secrets.”
Big Ang is home and gets a call from AJ, finally. He says it's his first time he can use the phone. AJ tells her that it's very strict there and the food sucks. He says he is working with a crew doing some maintenance. Big Ang reminds him not to get too friendly because that's when you start breaking rules. Big Ang asks when can she see him and he tells her about family day. She asks what she should bring him and AJ says to bring lots of food. She tells him about Neil’s tattoo idea and AJ asks her to take a picture of Neil's face for him.
Big Ang is at the Drunken Monkey and orders a stoly chocolate covered strawberry with a splash of club. I had to put that in because I want to remember to order it next time I'm there. She tells the guys about her idea of the spray tanning business. They think it's a good idea and Franky offers to be her first customer. He says that Big Ang can spray tan the F*** out of him. Franky, watch what you wish for! Anthony is quite concerned and asks Big Ang "what happens if a guy comes in like “regular,” gets tanned, and then he comes in again like aroused? He'll be two-toned! Then the girl will be like what’s that…a slinky?” Ah...Anthony, the things that interest you! Big Ang continues to tell them she wants to take spray tanning to the next level. She wants to serve sangria. She then tells them of Neil's idea of getting the tattoo and the photo shoot. Anthony wants to know if he can look at the pictures. Big Ang gives a shrug and assures Anthony there is only one of her. And yes readers, there is only ONE Big Ang!
The pot's not BIG enough!
Big Ang is cooking up a storm for AJ's visit. She makes a pot of sauce (cause that's what she called it) and realizes it's not fitting. So she transfers it into another pot, one that is similar to the size of a pot that can steam 20 lobsters at a time. Lil Jenn comes by to help. She's very interested in rolling the meatballs. Big Ang says she needs supervision cause “that girl can start a fire!” She tells Lil Jenn that she's going to see AJ and that she'll be able to spend 5 hours with him. Lil Jenn finishes rolling the meatballs and puts them in the already lighted oven. I guess Big Ang forgot to supervise that part. Lil Jenn tastes the sauce and raw meatballs and asks Big Ang if she'll divorce Neil and marry her! Big Ang gives an eye roll and thinks about it for a minute. Lil Jenn then tells Big Ang “the last time I saw your mother she was smoking a cigarette, drinking and wearing a bra. Big Ang says, “I don't wear a bra.”
Looks like this pot will do!
Big Ang goes to Emerald Studios for her photo shoot. She explains that she wants the picture to look like a pin-up. Big Ang gets a little nervous and goes outside to smoke a cigarette. Yeah, in a hot little leopard print robe. She does a few poses, looking very sexy. The photographer asks her to move the boa away from her neck, and Big Ang seems apprehensive but does. She then does a back shot wearing a purple thong exposing the lips tattoo. At the end Big Ang is loving the whole idea! She says Penthouse Centerfold here I come. I, myself, was wondering if there is an invitation out there from Hugh Heffner yet.
Big Ang is talking to Janine about her visit with AJ. She tells her she cooked all the food and there were 200-300 people there. Janine asked if she spoke with any counselors and Big Ang says yes, one, and he said that AJ was doing good and making progress. Big Ang tells Janine about Neil's tattoo idea. She tells her it will be a naked picture of herself. Janine says, “kiss my ass Neil.” Janine says Big Ang thinks the tattoo is a way of showing her Neil loves her. She says if he wants to do that he should get another job. Big Ang says Neil is big talk no action, and she'll die if he really gets it. He's a big baby and he can't take any pain. They say he's not the sharpest knife in the draw. Big Ang says he's not even in the draw, Janine says he can't find the draw. Poor Neil!
Big Ang takes Neil's hand, awwww.
Neil and Big Ang show up at the tattoo place. It's Neil’s first tattoo and Big Ang says he can't see it until its finished. She tells Neil no peeking, which really wasn't that hard because Neil was grimacing through the whole session and his face was red-hot. He told Ang, “you’re face is killing me!” and Big Ang says, “yours has been killing me for 5 years!” Big Ang took a picture for AJ and then asked the tattoo artist if he can go even deeper. Watching Neil stick it out, Big Ang realizes she gives him a hard time. She says he has a big heart. She goes over to Neil and holds hands with him. It was a moment. Well, maybe a few seconds! But she did show him some love!
Big Ang needs a new tattoo, BIG LIPS!
She decides she is bored and gets a tattoo herself. Gee, I wish I can make such quick decisions as Big Ang! She ends up getting lips tattooed on her back, between her shoulders. She loves it and she says it's “very big!” Neil's tattoo is done and it is striking. It looks just like Big Ang! She admits she looks pretty hot and says Neil may not buy me lavish gifts or diamonds, but getting a permanent tattoo is priceless. I'll say it is!
Neil's BIG, new BIG ANG tattoo, on his leg!
They leave and Big Ang asks Neil if he's addicted and he says, “maybe one more.”
That ends a fun episode of Neil's love for Big Ang. I'm still curious about the gift. I think there may be one coming.
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P.S. While Mob Wives Chicago has ended and Mob Wives NY will resume in a few months, why not take some time and read some past blogs here on the site.
Written by: Carmela Corleone
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